


Clandestine

by melonnim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Again, Angst, M/M, Oh My God, Romance, Tragedy, and i got it up on aff before this, but i want to make this acct an inventory of my one shots, im gtg, is this fic still appealing, regardless i love this fic, so here it is, this was the first ever angst one shot i wrote, we're back at this dandelion of a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:38:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5823661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonnim/pseuds/melonnim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clandestine [adj.] something that is kept secret or done secret.</p><p> </p><p>In the sea of white, he saw grey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clandestine

**Author's Note:**

> So--it's this fic. 
> 
> I want my account to be an inventory of my one shots, and since this is the first (angst) one shot I've written, here it is. Hopefully you have come to appreciate it as much as I thought about it.

Every part of the world is filthy. Doorknobs. Telephones. Electricity Poles. Buildings.

Humans.

So Chanyeol never bothered to take a second glance, to never leave the confines of his apartment up on the top floor, and never bothered to interact with others. Because then, he’d lose what was most precious to him, what made him function.

_Silence._

There were rules to it, rules that Chanyeol had made up in his mind. Rules that prevented him from indulging in the sin of commitment, the sin of friendship, the sin of love.

And yet, Chanyeol never expected to come out of his apartment door that day.

 

 

 

 

“Are you serious?” Chanyeol hums, rather gloomily. He never enjoyed talking to people, especially on the phone. His cell phone was the only exception, but knowing that the telephone lines connect him to something on the outside, goosebumps formed on his arms.

“ _Yeah, I’m serious! Father got hospitalized today, don’t tell me you’re not going!”_ His older sister screeched from the other line, making Chanyeol’s eye twitch. His eye only ever did twitch at the thought of having to leave his apartment. Once he takes a step out to the un-sanitized environment, he’s pretty sure cell and germ growth will increase by 99%.

“But Yura, you know I can’t—“

“— _Hell yeah you can! You’re just a big baby! Mysophobic or whatever, this is our father we’re talking about—“_

Chanyeol swallows hard, trying to think of a possible way out of this. It’s not only now he had to face the threat of going outside, so he’s pretty well experienced with these type of situations.

“Yura, I—“

“— _Chanyeol, he might die you know.”_

Funny how small words can move heart that never wanted to leave its confines. Chanyeol ran his gloved hands through his hair, pulling out the frustration building in his chest.

“All right, I got it. Give me some time.”

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol heavily wraps himself the next day, layering clothes and polishing his gloves. His boots covered most of his shin, and gracing his head was a beanie that wrapped up to his ears.

It was winter, anyway.

Chanyeol cautiously twists his doorknob, peeking through the outside. He feels a bit heavy, as if a weight was crashing down on him and that he was involving himself in something completely dark, that his life would come to an end the least he expect it.

So he was on guard.

He takes the first step, the first step after 8 months of never leaving his apartment.

Also, a step unto a gashed leg that sent him tumbling back into his apartment.

“What the hell?!” He shouted, his eyes wide open as he tried to remember what he saw.

“A—A body?!” He shouts again, scrambling to stand up, grip on the doorknob tight. Slightly, he peeks through the door once again, only to his dismay to see a body nuzzled up on his front carpet.

He takes a deep breath, unable to comprehend the situation.

The boy who was carelessly splayed on his doormat was most probably sleeping, not dead. His face was slightly bruised, but it was tranquil. His hair was grey, and Chanyeol wouldn’t want to question what people would like their hair color to be nowadays. But it was nice against his porcelain skin. Beautiful, even. Not a face Chanyeol would see on the streets, not a face that seemed as tainted on the inside as it was on the outside.

“Don’t get involved… Don’t get involved…” He chants, only to be horribly disappointed.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol immediately disinfects himself once he arrives at the hospital, sent into panic as the stranger’s blood stained his clothes.

“I have… to go back… and change…” He says in broken breaths as he brushes of as much off the dirt he could. His gloves remained intact, bloody from his own hands.

“Are you the guardian?” A nurse asks as she suspiciously stares at Chanyeol, who had taken refuge in the hospital’s open-air faucet.

“N—no… I just found him bruised in front of my apartment—“

Chanyeol lunges backwards as the nurse extends her hand, a clipboard in her grasp.

“What?” She asks, startled by his sudden movements. “If any case, we need someone to fill out the form—“

Chanyeol heaves a heavy sigh, fixing the buttons on his gloves. The nurse eyes him warily, a bit cautious about his appearance. “Do you mind doing it for now? At least until we can indentify him.”

Chanyeol shouldn’t get involved.

It would cost him a few hours in his apartment, a few hours in silence and in peace.

He really shouldn’t.

“…All right.”

 

 

 

 

 

This is probably the longest Chanyeol has been out of his apartment. He didn’t sit on any of the hospital benches, he didn’t get too close to anyone. He stood there by the door to the boy’s room, his awkward height standing straight against the sea of patients.

“You can come in, he’s fine now. A few stitches to his head and his leg.” The doctor says as he comes out from his room, making Chanyeol flinch slightly. “A—all right.” Chanyeol remarks, entering the door while it was still open.

He is left alone in the room with the boy, his loud snores filling up the room. Chanyeol shouldn’t even be here, he shouldn’t have paid for the hospital bill either. He’s been involved, and being involved meant costing him a few more hours from disinfecting the germs landing on his kitchen counter top.

“What have I done…” Chanyeol says with a large sigh, still standing as he stares at the boy from afar. He doesn’t even know the boy’s name, and yet here he is, _caring._

He’s caught off guard when the boy finally wakes up, his eyes sparkling as he spots Chanyeol in the expanse of the room.

“Huh? Where am I?” The boy immediately says, but he’s not panicking. He was calm, his face was serene, just as it was when he was asleep.

“Y—you were sleeping on my front door step highly bruised, so I brought you to the hospital…”

Chanyeol is taken aback when the boy’s face lightens up, a bright smile gracing his lips that even Chanyeol couldn’t bear to smile. Chanyeol found himself smiling as well, and this made his insides desolate.

_Rule number ten; never smile at a stranger._

He quickly shakes off the smile, coughing a bit to snap the boy out of his smiling trance.

“W—what’s your name?” Chanyeol asks, but the boy never stops smiling as he speaks.

“Baekhyun!” He says enthusiastically, suddenly shifting in his bed. Chanyeol feels a bit alerted, his face quickly sent into alarm as Baekhyun tries to get out of the bed.

“No! Don’t come any closer!” He shouts, disregarding the fact that he had carried him and drove him all the way to the hospital.

“Wha—“ He was ready to bolt until Baekhyun falls flat on his face on the floor. Chanyeol’s heart thumps, immediately lunging to lift Baekhyun up back on the bed.

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout like that and to make you fall and Oh my God you’re bleeding again—“ Chanyeol says in one breath, and he doesn’t seem to further care about the arm around his shoulders as he carries Baekhyun back to his bed.

“Don’t worry about it, I always end up like this.” Baekhyun says laughing, wiping away the blood from his nose. “See? All better!”

Chanyeol doesn’t understand why Baekhyun can smile after having a gashed head, leg and a bloody nose, but he doesn’t push on the matter.

He’s already gotten too involved.

He realizes Baekhyun’s grip and fumbles in his pocket, grabbing the disinfectant spray to spray on his hands and suit.

“Hm?” Baekhyun hums in curiosity, eyeing his savior. “What are you doing?”

Chanyeol heaves a deep breath, returning the spray to his pocket when he was satisfied. “I don’t like… touching things.” Chanyeol remarks with a gloomy expression, the same expression he had always held.

Baekhyun, for the first time, frowns. “Why not?”

“Because they’re dirty.”

Baekhyun frowns even more, getting off his bed, trying to reach for Chanyeol.

Chanyeol runs to the end of the room, only to have a staggering Baekhyun on his tail. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m going to touch you.” Baekhyun says with the same infectious smile, his left leg limping from behind him. Chanyeol takes deep breaths, too close to the door. He eyes the doorknob, unable to touch it no matter how scared he was.

“I—I’m warning you! I’m the son of a CEO—“

“—You don't look like someone who’ll hurt a fly.” Baekhyun says with a giggle, and Chanyeol found himself in the tight hug of the shorter.

Chanyeol doesn’t feel disgusted at all. All he felt was the nostalgia of a hug, how Baekhyun nuzzled his head deeper into Chanyeol’s chest as he was obviously one head shorter than him.

“You… You’re—short.” Chanyeol says in defeat, only to be met face to face with Baekhyun.

“No, you’re just tall.” Baekhyun laughs a bit, tightening his grasp around Chanyeol.

“What was your name?” Baekhyun asks, pulling back from the hug, making Chanyeol exhale the breath he was keeping.

He was hesitant, of course.

_Rule number nine; don’t let people know you exist._

“…Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol.”

 

 

 

 

A few weeks had passed since Chanyeol’s encounter. His father was discharged, only to find out that he had only sprained his ankle and that his sister was only plotting to get him to go outside. Chanyeol hadn’t shouted that loud before, nor has he had a proper family meal in a while.

And strangely, it felt good.

Chanyeol disregards the emotions as he stumbles back into his apartment, lugging himself immediately back to his bathroom.

“Disinfect… Disinfect…”

He doesn’t know where Baekhyun could be. He had left the hospital far later after Chanyeol had visited his father, and left only a note saying _thank you_ for Chanyeol to know he was safe.

And all the while, Chanyeol felt disappointed.

Because he saw Baekhyun as a saving grace, as a sign that maybe, he should change.

But that was an illusion, and now he’s back to locking himself up.

Because that was for the best, the best for him.

At least, until he came back.

“Yo!”

Chanyeol feels dumbfounded as he opens his door, maybe even slightly hoping that it was Baekhyun. He _never_ opens the door, not to anyone, but the spur of the moment led him into twisting the knob himself only to be met face to face with the shorter.

“I brought you ramen!”

Chanyeol lifts an eyebrow, eyeing the plastic bag that the man had lifted up eye level.

“Don’t bring that in here, it’s dirty. No, don’t come inside, you have germs—“

“Again with that germs thing.” Baekhyun guffaws, pushing against Chanyeol to get inside. Chanyeol feels weak, as if his holy sanctuary had just been infiltrated (which kind is as of the moment) and his knees no longer feel like supporting him.

Baekhyun notices this and look down in Chanyeol’s direction, stretching out his hand for the younger to take. “Come on, we have to do something about that.”

“About what?” Chanyeol unconsciously takes Baekhyun’s hand, but doesn’t really mind it as much as he had pulled on his gloves earlier on for safety. Baekhyun leads him into the dining table, which was completely covered up in plastic, much to Baekhyun’s distaste.

“What is this?” Baekhyun says, his face twisting into a depressed expression. He rips off the plastic and places the plastic bag on the table, making Chanyeol's soul escape his body.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Chanyeol says as he lunges to grab the plastic, quickly taping it back to the table. “Oh my God, the germs have already spread what do I do not even disinfectant can cure this I need the solution I have to go down to Yura’s lab I need to—“

“God, shut up will ya?”

Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun, slightly degraded as he falls to the ground, hugging his legs as if all hope was lost. “I can’t eat on that there’s germs on it and if I eat on it the germs will get to my food and into my system and then I’LL DIE AND—“

Chanyeol is brought back when he receives a slap to the cheek, quickly clutching it as it had been a while since he felt anything _hurt._

“Get a hold of yourself!” Baekhyun says, pouting as he stared down at a pathetic Chanyeol. “Seriously, everything has germs! No matter what you do, you’ll never get rid of ‘em!”

Baekhyun proceeds to rip off the plastic on everything, Chanyeol unable to move as he slowly decayed to the ground.

“That’s better!” Baekhyun says, wiping off the sweat when he was satisfied. “You have a really big apartment, and really nice things, shame that you cover them all up in plastic bags—“

He sighs as he sees Chanyeol lying on the ground, as if dead.

“Seriously, we need to do something about this.” Baekhyun says as he pulls Chanyeol up on the table. Chanyeol, being too depressed to resist, complies.

“So! Introductions. I’m Byun Baekhyun. College student. Working part-time as a delivery service for Ramen. I have extremely bad luck but that’s not something to be frowning about, so I always smile.” He says as he flashes a smile, only to be unable to faze the depressed boy.

“…Park Chanyeol… Son of a CEO… Not working since my dad promised to provide for me… I haven’t gotten out of this apartment for 8 months… I haven’t left since I might die from some infectious disease or some germ contamination… I don’t need to worry about food expenses or living cost since I don't need to pay for anything… That’s basically what I do…”

Baekhyun doesn’t seem satisfied as a soulless Chanyeol slumps into his chair.

“You’re pretty lucky, but why are you so negative?” Baekhyun say as he folds his arms over his chest, intently staring at the man across him.

“Because… why live life positively when you’re going to die anyway?” Chanyeol remarks.

The silence grew and Chanyeol had no choice but to look up, only to be met with Baekhyun laughing his head off.

“Are you serious? You’re so negative because you know you’re going to die in the future?” Baekhyun says, tightening his hold on his stomach as he tried to recompose himself.

“Yeah, is that a problem?” Chanyeol hisses, a bit annoyed now that he realized his situation.

“You don’t like germs, right?” Baekhyun asks, wiping away the tear from his left eye.

“Bluntly speaking, yeah.” Chanyeol huffs.

“Well, you’re kind of sitting in an un-sanitized chair, bare.

Chanyeol realizes, quickly jolting upwards. “What did you do?!”

He looks around his apartment, all of his things now completely exposed, his eyes now fairly twitching.

“Have you died yet?”

Chanyeol turns back his gaze to Baekhyun, who was triumphantly smiling back at him.

_Rule number eight; don’t trust anyone._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol is forced out of his apartment again a month later, Baekhyun half dragging him out. Chanyeol used to flinch whenever Baekhyun would touch him, but now it seemed so natural he never bothered caring.

“Where are you taking me?!” Chanyeol squirms as he’s dragged into the elevator. “I already told you, I don’t go out so casually—“

“—Well you are now.” Baekhyun says, smiling as bright as usual. “From today on, I’m going to make sure Mr. Park Chanyeol will regain the days he stayed inside!” Baekhyun shouts whole-heartedly, making Chanyeol groan in exasperation.

“We’re going to the amusement park today—“

“—Oh hell no.” Chanyeol cuts him off, finally managing to squirm out of his grasp. “Out of all the places, amusement park? Are you serious? That’s like germ central!” Chanyeol shouts, recalling an image of amusement parks he’s seen on TV.

“You’ll never know until you try!” Baekhyun says as he’s trying to pull Chanyeol out of the elevator by his long limbs, but Chanyeol resists as he grasps unto the elevator's railing.

“No way! That’s gross! So many people! So many germs! I’ll die!” Chanyeol shouts.

“Well who’s the one grasping to the elevator railing probably touched by all the people in this apartment complex!”

“I don’t care about that now! Let me go!”

Baekhyun sends a roaring punch into Chanyeol gut, making him fall to the ground.

“Sorry, Chanyeol, this is all I can do for you now.”

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol wakes up, hours later tightly tied to car seat. He starts to panic, only to realize he was in his own car. He quickly turns his head to the driver’s seat, only to be met with a crown of grey hair and a big smile.

“Hey sleepy head!” Baekhyun remarks as he steers the wheel, sharply making a right on the freeway.

“What are you? Are you a kidnapper?! Did you plan this?!” Chanyeol shouted, feeling more disgusted about the seatbelt tightly wrapped around him than his safety.

“Nah, we’re heading to the amusement park.” Baekhyun says with a grin, and Chanyeol feels like he was going to die as he sees the sea pass by them in swift waves.

“Oh my God I’m going to die here today Lord I’m sorry I have done a lot of bad things in my life—“

“— _Shaddap!”_ Baekhyun shouts in an unsightly english accent, making Chanyeol hush his words. “You’re not going to die from going to an amusement park. You can, however die form the rides but I’m pretty sure they wont—“

“—Oh my God I’m going to die today Lord I’m so sorry I forgot about the dinner I made yesterday that I didn’t finish it’s probably rotting in the refrigerator—“

“—food doesn’t rot overnight in the refrigerator Chanyeol—“

“—And I forgot to sanitize the lid of the toilet today Oh my God the amount of germ build up in toilets are—“

“—CHANYEOL.”

Chanyeol hushes for a moment, staring at Baekhyun with a dreary expression. “This is your fault. I’m going to die out there and you will be held responsible. The entire Park Group will have your tail—“

“—It’s fine.” Baekhyun interrupts, still smiling. “If they’re after me, then I wont be lonely.”

Chanyeol can’t find a way to retort, as Baekhyun said this with full seriousness and a wide smile on his face. “…Lonely?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun nods, as if in defeat. But he keeps his smile intact as he steps on the gas pedal as soon as the road appeared empty. “I don’t have a family so I’m living by myself.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol said. “That’s not too bad.”

Baekhyun doesn’t reply, since he knew Chanyeol wouldn’t understand. Chanyeol lived alone, and took comfort in it. Baekhyun lived alone, and took utter distaste in it.

“It is when you get lonely.”

“I’ve never felt lonely.” Chanyeol replies, completely unfazed.

“My mom used to say that you don’t feel lonely because you made up reasons not to be.”

Chanyeol remains quiet, mulling over Baekhyun’s words.

“I think you aren’t lonely because of your mysophobia—“

“—How’d you know I have mysophobia?” Chanyeol intercepts, and Baekhyun is sent to a fit of laughter.

“Are you serious? It’s not that easy to miss.” Baekhyun says as he discards his hand from the steering wheel to wipe away a tear. “You wear too much clothing, you wrap up all your stuff in plastic bags, you sanitize every time you can, you don’t like touching doorknobs even, don’t like touching anything at all, you wear gloves—“

“—All right, I get it.” Chanyeol says as he finally frees himself from the grip of the seatbelt. “So I have a problem—“

“—A _big_ problem.” Baekhyun parks on an empty space in front of the large expanse of the amusement park. “Here we are~”

Chanyeol snatches a glance at the large attraction, gulping down his fear.

“This is crazy. YOU’RE CRAZY. Do you honestly think I’m going to get outside of this car—“

Chanyeol is heaved out of the car by Chanyeol in one pull, falling to the ground in complete peril. “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Chanyeol shouts, panicking as dust started to attach them to his clothes (Chanyeol can see dust attach themselves to his clothes.)

“God, how are you still alive.” Baekhyun says as he pulls Chanyeol up by the hand. “I’m pretty strong for someone my height, so if you refuse anything I say—“

Chanyeol’s eye twitches as he sees the aura around Baekhyun change, a more killing intent surrounding the atmosphere.

“—You’re in for it.”

_Rule number seven; be strong._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol slumps against the amusement park bench, no longer giving a single fuck as he doesn’t bother to care about how many people have probably sat on it.

It was child’s play to what he had just gone through.

“Roller coaster, bumper cards, merry go round, you did well!” Baekhyun says as he pats Chanyeol’s back, smiling in victory.

“How are you happy?!” Chanyeol says in exasperation, trying to catch his breath as he heaved air. It had been a while since he ran around this much.

“At the roller coaster your seatbelt snapped so I had to reach over to get it back, at the bumper cars your steering wheel broke and your car went hay wire, and in the merry go round the pole holding up your horse broke off!” Chanyeol exclaims, remembering the events that had happened for the 5 hours, 32 minutes, 4 seconds (not that Chanyeol was counting) that had passed.

Baekhyun’s smile widens, taking the seat beside Chanyeol. He hands him canned coffee, to which obviously Chanyeol would refuse.

“I’m alive, aren’t I?”

Chanyeol looks up, expression still twisted into pain.

“…You’re crazy.” Chanyeol remarks with a sigh, hands fumbling about the disinfectant spray.

“I am.” Baekhyun replies with a laugh, his bangs slightly brushing against his cheeks. To Chanyeol, Baekhyun looked so fresh, so positively beautiful like nothing had come into his way, nothing wrong had happened to him.

But for the entire time Chanyeol had been with Baekhyun, he would run into bad luck in all sorts of ranges.

“Why are you so unlucky?” Chanyeol unconsciously blurts out, immediately cupping his mouth as if he had done wrong. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“Nah, it’s fine. Baekhyun says with a tranquil smile, the same kind of smile he had when Chanyeol found him. “I’ve always had bad luck. Since I was a kid, I’d fall into pits, drop my ice cream, get kidnapped for being mistaken as a government official’s son…”

“A government official’s son?” Chanyeol laughs at the idea, and how on earth Baekhyun could be mixed up in those kinds of situations.

“Yeah. You know, I was kidnapped by some strange guys, thinking I was the son of a government official? It was crazy! They grabbed me and when they called, the governor was like, ‘that isn’t my son.’” Baekhyun says, eerily enthusiastic.

“Oh? Must have been hard then.” Chanyeol says with sincere sympathy, only imagining how incredibly scary it was for a child.

“Nope. Because then when I was kidnapped, they were nice. They yanked me off the streets and played with me. I thought they were just there to play with me, but they were there for more. But I wasn’t lonely, so at the least, they gave me happiness.”

Chanyeol then turns his head to Baekhyun, now seeing the reflection of the sunset against his porcelain skin. His wounds have healed since last month, and the clarity of his skin was more evident under the dim lamp lights.

“…You’re really unlucky huh.” Chanyeol doesn’t know what else to say, a bit of pity for the boy beside him. All his life, he was sheltered, so he had no idea how it felt.

“I think I’m pretty lucky.” Baekhyun says, making Chanyeol lift an eyebrow. “Even after all of the things you get into?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun hums, swinging his short legs against the pavement. “Because I met you.”

Chanyeol swallows as Baekhyun turns his head to his direction, flashing a wide smile, a smile so genuine and infectious that even Chanyeol could forget everything, forget the un-sanitized toilets, forget the left over food.

It was just him and Baekhyun.

“I’m pretty lucky, too.” Chanyeol says, breaking away from Baekhyun’s gaze. Baekhyun only replies with a laugh. “I can’t deny that, you are really lucky.”

“I mean, you get everything you want, you don’t have anything to worry about, and! When I (did not) drag you to the place I was working at, you picked up money, was almost recruited by a modeling agency, and got an extra piece of beef in your ramen!” Baekhyun says, his face pouting as he remembered the extra piece of beef.

“For all the years I’ve been working there, the boss never gave me an extra piece of beef! It was luck, I tell you, luck.” Baekhyun says, nodding his head.

“Hmm, luck, huh?” Chanyeol says with a sigh, staring at the sun as it started to set, the sky bathed in orange as he stared deeper into the sea. “I guess I am lucky too.”

“Well, we can’t both be lucky.” Chanyeol is pulled from his thoughts. Chanyeol looks at Baekhyun in curiosity. “What do you mean by that? Can’t everyone be lucky?”

“Nah, that’s against the rules.” Baekhyun says with a pout, folding his arms over his chest. “The balance of nature can only be fulfilled if one suffers and another doesn’t.”

“That’s a pretty narrow way of thinking.” Chanyeol chuckles, only to be further pushed on by Baekhyun. “It is!!! It’s true!”

“How are you certain?” Chanyeol says with a smile, no longer sporting his signature gloomy smile and attitude.

“The kids at the orphanage told me that. There were kids out there who had happy family, a mom, a dad, a pet, brothers and sisters. And then there were us, the people who don’t. It was natural, they said, or else everyone would have to be orphans.”

Chanyeol is silenced, only to be broken down when Baekhyun slams his head against his shoulder. “You’re feeling pity for me, aren’t you?” Baekhyun puffs his cheeks, and Chanyeol thinks it’s pretty cute.

“No.” Chanyeol says with a smirk, not taking his gaze away from the sunset. “I think you’re really are lucky.”

“To be independent like that, I mean.” Chanyeol adds, choking up a bit on his words. “I don’t think I’d be able to live in this world without my parents paying for my living expenses.”

“Well… Then that settles it.” Baekhyun confirms with a triumphant smile. “You’re unlucky, I’m lucky.”

Chanyeol doesn’t say anymore, only laughing away the silence of the now nearing night time theme park.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol lugs his keys to the bowl, no longer bothering fixing them in the normal position he was accustomed to. He stares back at what he did, eyes widening. “Well… Whatever.” Chanyeol says with an exasperated smile, neatly placing his shoes back into the shoe rack after spraying them with disinfectant spray.

“This isn’t a bad thing, I just don’t want the germs of today spreading to my other shoes.” Chanyeol brushes off, nodding as soon as he convinces himself.

After he takes a bath and dives into his bed, he nods off, a smile on his face.

And long had it been since he slept happy.

_Rule number six; don’t become too happy._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol doesn’t hear from Baekhyun at all that week, which was weird since all Baekhyun ever did was call him in the morning to ask if he was home. But the calls never came, and Chanyeol felt suffocated.

Yes, suffocated.

In his own house.

His sanctuary.

“I—I, don’t care.” Chanyeol says to himself after chugging down a full glass of milk, slamming the now empty glass against the now wrapped again dining area (since Baekhyun hadn’t been dragging him out lately, he had time). “It’s not like I want to get out of my house again.”

“It’s actually great! I don’t have to go through things like the amusement park then. God, that place was filthy.” He then distracts himself, taking notice of the small things around his house that weren’t that way before Baekhyun came around.

“The plates aren’t in order, the germs are going to pile up if they’re too close like that. I’m going to have to rearrange everything again.” Chanyeol fakes a sigh, quickly taking them down one by one.

It was half past 10 when he notices that _all his suits were dusty_ and all needed to be equally dusted.

It was quarter to 3 am when he finished, as Chanyeol only wore suits when he went out.

And he couldn’t lie to himself, sneaking peaks at his phone was inevitable.

He sighs as he puts down his brush, taking his phone as he slams himself hard against his bed.

“…What am I doing…”

_Rule number five; don’t get too attached._

 

 

 

 

Lately, Chanyeol hadn’t been gaining any sleep at all. He would crack his eyes wide open at midnight, silently waiting for something, _something_ to happen.

And when it came, he couldn’t have felt any more relieved.

“ _Yeol? It’s Baek! Can you come down to the lobby?”_

Chanyeol’s looks at the clock, wincing a bit through the bright neon light. “Baek… It’s quarter to 3.”

“ _I know that. Just come down.”_

Chanyeol doesn’t note anything suspicious in his tone, chucking on his coat and gloves before heading out. The sharp wind of winter had pierced through his clothes either way, making him shiver as he made his way downstairs.

He spots Baekhyun in the middle of the lobby, the dim lights bouncing off his grey hair and clear physique. The aura around him was different, though. He seemed a lot different, like the atmosphere around him had gotten darker.

Much to Chanyeol’s relief, his normal smile appears again.

“Yeol!”

Chanyeol’s insides melt as he hears his voice, his knees a bit weaker than the used to be. “Baek.” He chokes out, and Baekhyun hears this, slightly chuckling.

“Sorry for calling you out this late. I wanted to show you something!”

Normally, if Chanyeol was called out at 3 am, he’d be upset. But seeing Baekhyun like this after a while, there was no way he’d be upset.

He felt saved.

“Let’s go then.” Chanyeol says with a smile. “I’ll drive.”

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun directs them somewhere deep in the woods, just clusters of trees passing through their windows as they drove by. And Chanyeol never questioned it. He would sneak a glance at Baekhyun, who would always keep his smile.

And that was enough for Chanyeol to trust him.

They pull up near a cliff, nearing the time the sun normally rises. There was a bit of light flooding the area, and Chanyeol felt the cold passing through his gloves. “Where are we?”

“We’re going to watch the sunrise!” Baekhyun chirps, and Chanyeol doesn’t fully understand. “We went all the way here to watch the sunrise?” Chanyeol asks, flabbergasted.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun replies casually, not really seeing as a big deal. “My dad used to bring me here. This place is a lot prettier when the sun rises. The cliff slightly blocks the light, and all of a sudden, the light from the sun would flood the fields. The flower fields would be flooded with mixtures of yellow and orange. And as the sun rises, a large gust of wind blows through this mountain, the Dandelions bathing in the color of the sun.” Baekhyun explains vividly, as if he was painting a photo.

Chanyeol looks around, noticing that he was amidst patches of flowers.

“Dandelions?” Chanyeol says, as he sees through the long spaces were white puffballs spreading through the fields.

“Don’t you like Dandelions? They’re so free. They don’t need to think about anything.” Baekhyun’s face lost it’s smile, only staring out form the edge of the cliff. “When they start to fly around, I like to lift my hand and feel them pass through my palm, as if they were asking me to come with them.”

“I want to be a Dandelion. I want to freely move around and not be restricted.”

“Back in the orphanage, some dandelions were growing near the grass area by the front porch. I had brought some in, only to be scolded. They said that dandelions weren’t flowers, they were weeds.” Baekhyun’s expression grew darker as he recalled the memory.

“They said they were useless, and that they weren’t beautiful.”

“But I saw it otherwise. They may be useless, but they’re beautiful me.”

Chanyeol smiles, staring at the so-called weeds vividly blowing through the wind. “They’re beautiful to me, too.”

With the sincerity in Chanyeol’s words, Baekhyun’s smile grows. “My dad said that dandelions meant hope. That no matter how bad things are, and that no matter how much you lose, or how unlucky you are, things will pass, people will forget, and things will be good again.”

Chanyeol feels the weight of Baekhyun sentiment as his words poured out, and he doesn’t know what to say.

“Chanyeol! There! Look!”

Chanyeol holds his breath as the sun started to rise, the colors of the sun really did flood through the cliff, looking the same way Baekhyun had described it. Baekhyun’s face glowed in the dim light, and Chanyeol had never seen anything as breathtaking as the gush of wind blew against the fields.

Various buds flew through the air, draining the sky of its color and painting the it with white.

“This is… amazing.” Chanyeol says as he lets go of the breath he had been holding, watching as Baekhyun slowly lifted his hand. Chanyeol felt jealousy, how the buds brushed against the palm of his hand, him being able to grasp the feeling.

And with shaky hands and hitched breathing, he slips off the glove on his right hand, lifting it up alongside Baekhyun’s.

It felt like pure euphoria. How the buds swerved along his skin, the feel of it enough to lift them up and take them away. It did seem like they were calling for him.

It had been a while since Chanyeol had removed his gloves, and as he looked at the man next to him, hand in the air and a face tranquil against the harsh glow of the sun, he’s glad he did.

As the buds started to flow off into the direction of the sun, Baekhyun had put his hand down. Chanyeol followed, still taken back by the scene he had just witnessed.

“Well?” Baekhyun asks eagerly, nearing Chanyeol’s face as if he had been triumphant in something.

“Well what?” Chanyeol asks, immediately slipping his glove back on.

“Wasn’t it beautiful?” Baekhyun says with a sigh of happiness, watching as the buds flew off further from the cliff.

When Chanyeol doesn’t answer, as it seemed like he was still at a loss for words, Baekhyun took an immediate sprint through the dandelions. Chanyeol watched as he went through them, some of them still intact as there was still a sea of white flowing against the green.

“Yeol! Come here.” Baekhyun shouts all of the sudden, sending Chanyeol into alarm. Chanyeol awkwardly sprints to Baekhyun’s side, tripping over his long limbs as he finally made it closer.

“I’ve decided! You’re going to come back here to give me flowers, Dandelions to be exact. And you’re going to buy them! A big bouquet of them!” Baekhyun announces, his hands out stretching in the air as if expressing the amount of dandelions he wanted Chanyeol to buy. “And you’ll be wearing a suit, preferably a black one because you look really good in black.”

“Has anyone ever told you that? You look really good in black.” Baekhyun says with a smile that reached all the way up to his eyes.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.” Chanyeol says with a smile, and he doesn’t really understand, but goes with it. “But there are so many dandelions here, why would you want me to buy some? I could always pick out some from here—“

“—Don’t be a cheapskate! It’s better if you buy them.” Baekhyun huffs air through his cheeks, pouting as he stared upwards to Chanyeol’s height.

“All right, I’ll buy them tomorrow. Let’s go back tomorrow—“

“—No! Things like this are to be seen over time. You can’t just come back tomorrow and feel the same emotion again. By the time you come back, you have to be sure that you’re not going to get sick of it.”

“All right, I get it. I’ll buy them for you. So, Mr. Byun Baekhyun, I promise to come back here, with you, and right as the sun rises with the gust of wind, and when all the dandelions buds start flying in the air, I will give you the very expensive bouquet of Dandelions.”

Baekhyun feels satisfied with Chanyeol’s answer, because he’s pulling a smile that Chanyeol felt so much warmth in. The kind of security he felt whenever he used to stay at home, wrapping himself up in layers and layers of blankets to block away the germs, the diseases. But now at home, he didn’t feel that at all. He felt suffocated, like he had been trapped in a cage.

Baekhyun runs ahead of him without warning, going deeper into wide range of the field. His grey hair was still weird for a normal person to be sporting, but Chanyeol never minded. Because peering over the higher top of the field, he could see the entire expanse of the dandelions.

In the sea of white dandelions, he saw grey.

And that’s when Chanyeol realized that Baekhyun had become his home.

Baekhyun had become his sanctuary.

 

 

 

 

It was three weeks later that Chanyeol got the much awaited phone call. Baekhyun had invited Chanyeol as if nothing had happened, asking him to meet him at a coffee shop 6 blocks from Chanyeol’s apartment.

As much as Chanyeol wanted to be reluctant to leave his apartment again after a long time, he was more worried about trying to act mad for Baekhyun not bothering to call him after a long time.

“Baek… How could you not call me in the expanse of three weeks and then call me acting as if nothing happened?!” Chanyeol bites back his words.

“N—no… That sounds like I waited for his calls.”  (He kind of did).

“Baek, I was worried! Why didn’t you contact me at all—“

“N—no… That sounds too clingy.” (He kind of is.)

“UGH!” Chanyeol scream in frustration as he stands in front of his door step, only a step away from going back into the outside world.

“I’ll just… say...—“

“—Yo.” Chanyeol says, greeting Baekhyun casually as he sees him sitting down alone on one of the coffee tables at the far end of the shop.

“Oh, you came.” Baekhyun says with a bright smile, and Chanyeol can feel a blush as it had been a while since he had seen the infectious smile.

“I—I only came because I had time.” Chanyeol says, the words coming from his mouth suddenly not his own.

“Don’t you always have time?” Baekhyun says with a chuckle as he take a sip from his macchiato. “I ordered you Americano.”

“I told you, I don’t drink from the outside.” Chanyeol sighs, removing his coat as he places it on his lap. “Haven’t you gotten used to it yet?”

“Haven’t you gotten used to the outside world yet?” Baekhyun says as he leans in, his cup in between his hands. “It’s high time you get rid of that habit, Yeol.”

Chanyeol is taken back by the sudden nickname, as the only one who had ever called him that was his mom. “I can’t just do that, Baek.”

Chanyeol sees Baekhyun smile at his throw of the nickname, making his heart race a bit. “Yes you can, _Yeol._ You just don’t want to try.” Baekhyun says in triumph, emphasizing more on the nickname. “You didn’t seem so reluctant when you removed your glove that night—“

“—But _Baek,_ people don’t just easily give up things like that. It’s a course of nature, it’s the davinci code, it’s the big bang theory—“

“—Stop using natural causes as an excuse, _Yeol.”_ Baekhyun takes a sip from his macchiato, placing it back down on the table. “It’s all up to you to change, you know.”

Chanyeol doesn’t want to push on this matter, since whenever someone tries to bring it up, he ends up getting mad.

And him getting mad at Baekhyun right now was the last thing he wanted to do.

He recalls that night where they slipped away unto the fields, and he remembers how beautiful and breathtaking everything was. The sunrise, the dandelions, and even Baekhyun.

“Can we not talk about this now? I haven’t seen you in weeks, where did you go?” He says, completely ignoring the Americano placed before him.

“I was just going on some errands.” Baekhyun said in reply, downing the remaining coffee in his cup. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

But Chanyeol wasn’t convinced. “I need to know where you are.” Chanyeol couldn’t control his words, them just pouring out as if in urgency. “T—That is… Because… You’re a very special _friend, Baek.”_ Chanyeol said, emphasizing on the _friend_ and emphasizing on the _Baek._

“Well, there was a hold up at the ramen shop, so I had to do over time. No big deal.” Baekhyun says with a slight exhale, never forgetting to keep his smile in tact. “Why? Did little Yeol miss being dragged out of his apartment?”

“W—What? N—No… I wasn’t. I enjoyed it, actually. I really don’t like going outside. Especially not at 3 in the morning.” Chanyeol says as a matter-of-factly.

“Oh, really? You seemed to enjoy being there. You didn’t want to leave, either. You better not forget your promise!” Baekhyun reminds, extending his hand out to point it directly at Chanyeol.

“Yeah, of course I wont!” Chanyeol says in childish defense, as if he thought Baekhyun was expecting him to forget so easily.

“Who was the one who came here at the exact time? I was a bit worried, so I came early. But you were actually excited about this, huh?” Baekhyun says with a big smile, a bit too big for Chanyeol to handle.

“What’s wrong with being on time? There wasn’t any traffic.” Chanyeol hums, turning his gaze to a different direction.

“Yeah? Then where are you gloves?”

“Huh? They’re right here—“

Chanyeol’s eyes widen as he sees his bare hands, staring back at him.

“Ah, K.O.” Baekhyun remarks as Chanyeol faints.

_Rule number four; protect yourself at all costs._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol finds himself sitting in a park bench hours later, dazed as he doesn’t bother to realize that he was sitting on a public park bench. He sighs as he realizes that he fainted, and that Baekhyun had probably dragged him out here.

“Where is he, anyway? Always dragging people around like that…” Chanyeol remarks, going through his pocket to for his disinfectant spray.

Then he realizes he’s wearing his gloves again.

“Oh? What? Weren’t they bare awhile ago?” Chanyeol stares down at his hands in disbelief. “What time is it?”

He squints to look at the clock towering in the park on one of the poles.

“It’s 2 pm… an hour since I fainted, huh?” Chanyeol says as he looks down at his gloves.

Then he sees the blood seeping through the thick fabric. Through the fabric, he had felt his hands slowly chapping away, bleeding through the cloth as the winter came and passed.

But that didn’t matter to him, as long as he was safe.

He stands up again, looking around his surroundings to spot Baekhyun.

“Now where is he…”

He ended up searching until 7 pm, a bit worried, as Baekhyun wouldn’t answer his calls.

“Where is he?”

With a heavy heart, Chanyeol retreats back to his apartment.

A place he used to call his _sanctuary._

 

 

 

It was 2 months since Chanyeol had last heard of Baekhyun. Not that he was counting. Not that he was depressed. Not that he was worried.

Not at all.

But that had passed, and he had received a text saying that he was all right, and that he’d be out of the country for a few months.

That didn’t bother Chanyeol at all.

Of course, in 2 months, Chanyeol never left his apartment. He didn’t want to, of course, and he no longer had a reason to.

Because Baekhyun had been the only reason for him to see the outside world.

_It’s because you don’t want to try._

Baekhyun’s words cloud in Chanyeol’s thought, him shaking them off as he eats his 67th dinner since Baekhyun had left without a trace alone.

“It’s fine like this. It’s back to the way it was.”

Chanyeol stares down at his gloved hands, the blood seeping into the fabric from the intense washing he had done earlier.

He rips them off in frustration, hesitantly dumping them into the trash bin.

“…Right?”

 

 

 

 

“Yura, I’m going out.” Chanyeol says from his phone placed in between his shoulder and cheek, throwing his jacket on. He hears a gasp from the other line, him immediately rolling his eyes as he knew what was to come.

“ _M—Mom! Mom! Chanyeol says he’s going out of his apartment! Hurry! Get the camera! W—We have to get there to document his first steps out—“_

_“WHAT?! HE IS?! Wait, Oh my God! I have to get the camera. Dear! Get the camera! Chanyeol’s going to leave his apartment!”_

_“My blasted son’s going out of his apartment? Alert the media! My son is alive!”_

He sighs as he extends his hand out to avoid the continuous ramblings of his over zealous family, only facing them again when it had quieted down.

“ _Do you need us to be there when you take your first steps out?”_ His mom had now taken over the phone.

“ _Of course, mom! He hasn’t been out in a while. He’d probably break down at the first step!”_

_“Oh my, I wasn’t thinking straight. Sorry honey, we’ll be there to guide you out—“_

_“_ NO NEED!” Chanyeol shouts, slamming the door to his apartment in frustration.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol shuts the door to his car, parking it in front of his elephantine mansion in the heart of urban Seoul. He sighs, brushing off the dust that had gathered on his shoulders. He tightened his grip, the wounds on his hands gashing together in the process.

It had been the second time he went out without gloves, and feels a bit different as the air winded against his bare skin.

The biggest hurdle was the doorknob.

Oh how Chanyeol hated doorknobs.

He knocks, making sure only the tips of his fist would touch the wood. “I—I'm here.” He shouts, making sure he didn’t need to ring the doorbell either.

It took a while but when Yura had answered, he felt ease. “I’m here—“

“OH MY GOD!!! IT’S MY BROTHER!!!!!!” She shouted, quickly grabbing him by the neck. “MOM! DAD! IT’S CHANYEOL!”

His parents looked like they were near tears, and Chanyeol groans as his mom asks for permission before hugging him.

“God, why are you guys taking this too seriously?” Chanyeol says as he sits on one of the sofas in the living room. His entire family is silenced, him raising an eye brow as he didn’t entirely understand why they were so quiet.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did you just… sit on the couch… on whim?” Yura asks, a bit baffled.

“Yeah.” He just shrugs, folding his arms over his chest.

“Oh my god.” His mother remarks, tears in her eyes. “Is this my son? What happened? Did they replace him? Did someone kill him and replace him with someone that looked like him? WHO ARE YOU!!!”

“Mom! Calm down! It’s me!” Chanyeol shouts as he wriggles out of his short mom’s grip.

“For your information, I’ve gotten out of the house for a few more times since dad sprained his ankle.” Chanyeol sighs, taking a seat back on the couch.

“Are you serious? Honey, hold me, I think I’m going to faint.” His mom said, slightly falling backwards in his dad’s grasp.

“Why? Are you starting to lean into the _normal_ side of the world?” Yura says as she takes a seat beside him.

Chanyeol thinks for a few minutes, eyes piercing through the air. “Something… like that.”

“Who is she?” Yura says with a smile nudging further into Chanyeol’s personal space as his mysophobia never really hindered her from touching her brother.

“Who’s she?” Chanyeol asks in innocence, not really getting across.

“Or he, if you swing that way. I don’t really mind.” Yura adds, looking at her polished nails. “Is he cute?”

“What he? What are you saying?” Chanyeol says as he distances himself from her, skipping to the next couch.

His mother had ran off to the kitchen to prepare snacks and his dad had gone upstairs to retrieve the camera.

“Hey, don’t be shy. There’s no way you can become like this if you haven’t fallen in love.”

Chanyeol’s eye twitches, and he doesn’t really realize, but Yura is pulling this smug face that kind of pisses him off. “There isn’t anyone.”

“What? That’s not possible. Stop it. I have a boyfriend of my own too, you know. So I understand.” She says, nodding as she patted her younger brother’s hand. “Oh my God, you’re not wearing your gloves?” She says as she snaps back her hand due to habit.

“Yeah… I got rid of them.” He says so casually that Yura doesn’t blink. “But… Wha—“

“—Enough about this. I need help searching for someone.” Chanyeol says, brushing off the sudden change in his habits for his actual intentions.

“Oh, so there was someone.” Yura reverts back to her smug face.

“No! He’s not a lover, he’s—“

“—It’s a guy?! Oh my god that’s so cute. Is he cute? Who tops? I’d be disappointed if you don’t top. Well, seeing you bottom is kind of weird but—“

“—Yura! Focus.” Chanyeol says with a sigh, trying to return back to the topic.

“All right, all right.” Yura heeds her ideas, sitting back properly on the sofa. “Who are you looking for?”

“Byun Baekhyun. He works at a ramen shop around the district. I have a picture if you want.”

“He’s so cute!” Yura says as she smiles at the picture on his phone. “Definitely a bottom.”

“Yura!”

“All right, all right. I’ll find him for you. So you came all the way here just to ask your older sister to find your boyfriend? I know you know I have connections, but can’t my little brother pass by just to say hello—“

“—Yeah, I’ll do that more often.” Chanyeol says with a smile, tightening his grip on his hands.

_Rule number three; family is still important._

 

 

 

 

It took a few weeks, but Yura had finally given Chanyeol an address. He didn’t know where Baekhyun lived, so it was great help.

“ _But Chanyeol, this is a—”_

“Thanks, Yura.” Chanyeol says as he abruptly ends the conversation, not letting Yura finish her sentence.

Immediately, Chanyeol drives all the way to the address on his phone, not bothering on actually reading it properly.

It’s only then he is met face to face with a big sign that said _foreclosure._

“An orphanage, huh?” Chanyeol says as he fumbles with his bare hands, leaning against his car as he feels defeat. Baekhyun had long said that he was an orphan, but never did he know that he still lived here.

“I never even asked about him.” He feels frustration wash over him, as if all this time everything about Baekhyun revolved around Chanyeol. He was too caught up matching Baekhyun’s preference that he never bothered indulging himself in his life.

Chanyeol reluctantly steps through the gates, hearing as there were still footsteps and voices coming from the other side of the door.

He stares down at the doorknob, taking deep breaths as he attempts to take it. As he is just a few centimeters away, the door suddenly opens.

“Oh? Who are you?” The man asks, quirking his head to the side as he stares at Chanyeol from head to toe. “You don’t look like someone from the bank—“

“—I—I'm looking for By—Mr. Byun Baekhyun.” Chanyeol trips over his words, but the man before him doesn’t seem to mind. “Byun? Oh, he’s not here anymore.”

Chanyeol quirks his head up, a bit confused. “But, doesn’t he live here?”

“Yeah. He… changed residence months ago.” The guy shrugs, leaning against the doorframe. “Left after this orphanage was announced to have a foreclosure. He didn’t want to be dead weight around here, and left.”

“D—Do you know where he is right now?” Chanyeol swallows hard, hoping that there’d still be a trace of him afterwards.

“No, sorry.” The man frowns. “Even we’ve been trying to contact him all this time. Even if it’s closing down, we wanted to stick together. Little Baekhyun never really like burdening others.”

“The guy always went in and out of here. He had several part time jobs, and he was a bit frail, but the doctor never told us anything about him whenever he came along. Baekhyun would just function the same way everyday, never questioning how hard he’s been working to support everyone else here.”

“When did he leave?” Chanyeol asks, hoping that he could piece together the information.

“Around December?”

December.

The month where he found Baekhyun gashed on his doorstep.

“Hey, look. I’m sorry, I really don’t know where he is. It’s been tough around here and as much as I want to look for him, there’s too much to worry about.”

“No… No, it’s fine.” Chanyeol says with a smile, something he had learned from Baekhyun. “I’ll look for him.”

_Rule number two; always stay dedicated._

 

 

 

 

“ _Did you meet him?”_

Chanyeol had pulled up in a café, something he and Baekhyun had gotten used to months before. But this time, it was just him.

“No, he moved out since December.” Chanyeol exhales as he cups the cup of Americano in his hand, taking a seat on the same table he and Baekhyun had always occupied.

“ _Really? That’s like 4 months ago! Where did he live, then?”_

“I don’t know.” Chanyeol felt hopeless, as if he had lost something so important in his life. He sighs as he takes a sip of the coffee, warming him up inside.

“ _Hey… Did you just drink something?”_

Yura’s tone was as if in shock, making Chanyeol raise an eyebrow.

“Is… there something wrong with a human to be drinking something?” Chanyeol says, half laughing as he places the drink back down on the table.

“ _But you didn’t drink anything that didn’t come from your own home. Oh my god, you’ve changed so much. I think I’m going to shed a tear. Who does the Park family have to thank for this development? Come on Chanyeol, I’m pretty sure—“_

 _“_ You’re right.” Chanyeol intercepts, smiling as as he looked down at the cup on the table, crossing his sight to the empty seat across him. “Baekhyun did it.”

“He’s my new sanctuary, you see.”

 

 

 

 

The flowers had long bloomed, Chanyeol walking through them as they started to fall unto him.

And he didn’t care.

He had long disregarded the germs, the diseases, and the inevitable death.

Because he had found something to live for.

Chanyeol had pulled up in the same spot he had parked his car 5 months ago, locking it as he let the autumn leaves crunch from below his feet.

“It’s been a while since I’ve been here… That was in February.” Chanyeol remarks, seeing as the dandelions had fully grown and that the fields were wider than he remembered.

It was nearing the time the sun usually rises, and Chanyeol turned back to pick something from out of his car.

“Sorry, dandelions. Baekhyun may not be here, but I’ll find him soon.” Chanyeol says to the air, as if he had promised more than just bringing Baekhyun a bouquet of dandelions. He had promised to bring Baekhyun here.

And yet, here he was, empty-handed.

He places the bouquet in his arms, walking near the edge of the cliff. The sun was about to rise, him closing his eyes as he absorbed the sunlight.

He was wearing a black suit, just as Baekhyun ordered. Maybe if he had fulfilled all the things he had promised him, then he’d appear. Then he’d show up before Chanyeol and come back into his life. That he’d tell Chanyeol to never let him go.

Because touching can be a dangerous thing. The germs can spread, but Chanyeol learned that even more than that can happen.

Touching Baekhyun lead to the demise of his fear.

The sun started to rise, and once again the fields were flooded with vibrant colors of orange and yellow. The gush of wind swept through the dandelions once again, lifting off into the air.

Chanyeol lifted up his hand, bare as the buds swept through his now healing skin.

For so long, did he feel restricted. That his house was the expanse of the universe, and that everything he touched could kill him.

But as the dandelion buds flew off into the sun, he saw more than just the confines of his room. He saw the universe as a whole, and how there was so much more to it than those four walls.

And that within this universe, there was that one person who made him realize that he wasn’t alone.

As the buds started to fly away, he realized the bouquet hadn’t been affected by the wind, staying completely intact.

He lifts them up eye level, staring at them intently. “Why’d I buy this? I promised Baekhyun I’d give them to him. But he isn’t even here yet.”

His thoughts are interrupted when his phone rings, him quickly taking it from his pocket.

“Hello? Yura?”

“ _Chanyeol…”_

From a distance, Chanyeol spotted something that didn’t use to be there.

Stone.

“Yura? What’s wrong?”

He slowly took a few steps towards it. It was quite a distance from the edge of the cliff, located in the middle of the sea of dandelions where Baekhyun ran through. Because all he did remember was an empty field, drowning in the color of white.

“ _I—I…”_

Chanyeol doesn’t entirely immerse himself in the conversation, as he was more focused on what had become in the middle of the vivid memory he and Baekhyun had. So he hadn’t noticed the shaky tone in his sister’s voice.

“ _Baekhyun… He…”_

Chanyeol perks up at the mentioning of Baekhyun’s name, but is immediately slapped back into the reality he was standing before.

Amidst the sea of white, was grey.

A stone.

A _tombstone._

“ _He’s had frequent trips to the hospital since 2009… A—and… he got confined around December last year.”_

Chanyeol’s eyes started to widen, eyebrows slanting as if he felt a rush of a mixture of anger and anguish in his system.

“ _He was confined for L—Leukemia, Chanyeol…”_

Chanyeol doesn’t hear anything else. He doesn’t hear his sister’s voice, or his phone crashing against the grass. He doesn’t hear the sound of the bouquet of dandelions falling to the ground as well. All he feels are the blades of green seeping through his black suit, his eyes directly staring at the cause of his anguish.

With a dandelion insignia carved unto the top of the rounded shaped stone, Chanyeol thought he couldn’t breathe.

_Byun Baekhyun, 1992-2014._

_The dandelion means hope. That no matter how bad things are, and that no matter how much you lose, or how unlucky you are, things will pass, people will forget, and things will be good again._

Chanyeol blocks out everything, because all the he had ever loved had long disappeared before him. And dressed in black with a bouquet of flowers in hand, he feels utterly defeated.

 

 

 

 

_Rule number one; never fall in love._


End file.
